Episode 36

May 15, 2023


#36 I Yelena Sokolsky | Utilizing Immigrant Style Care

Hosted by

Tony Siebers Bina Colman
#36 I Yelena Sokolsky | Utilizing Immigrant Style Care
Parent Projects - Aging In America
#36 I Yelena Sokolsky | Utilizing Immigrant Style Care

May 15 2023 | 00:49:49


Show Notes

Is your family weighing Home Care vs. Nursing Home decisions and looking for some fresh perspectives on the conversation?

This week, we will be thinking outside the box with a nod to cultural influences on family dynamics in aging families. We visit with RN and CEO of New York’s Galaxy Home Care, Yelena Sokolsky, whose personal and professional experience spanning 20yrs. in home care has found value in the many ways culture impacts how to tackle these conversations.



Looking for information? Parent Projects takes the stress and intimidation out of the process for families relocating an aged loved one using our educational and self-help downsizing guides found at www.ParentProjects.com. Through our “Verified” Business Network, advocates can access the pre-screened professional services they need on their terms with the financial and personal safety peace-of-mind their families deserve.


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00:00 – Intro
01:21 – Welcome to the Show
02:32 – Introduction to Yelena Sokolsky
04:20 – Yelena’s Call to Action
10:10 – Comforcare Ad
11:10 – Immigrant Style of Care
33:29 – Galaxy Home Care Ad
34:05 – Key Takeaways
46:50 – Contact

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 00:00:20 If you're caring for aging parents, you need parent projects connect. Here's why. First, you get access to a verified business network, so you're only working with the most trustworthy vendors who won't take advantage of your situation. Second parent projects guides you through modules and tasks on health, financial, real estate, and medical decisions. So you're always prepared for what's next. Third, you can invite family members into your projects so your family is in the know and working together. Get started with a free 30 day trial [email protected]. Speaker 2 00:01:22 Is your family weighing home care options versus nursing care options? Are you looking for some fresh perspectives on this conversation? Ned, you've tuned in to the right episode this week. Uh, we're gonna be thinking outside the box with a nod that the cultural influences on family dynamics and aging families. We're gonna visit with RN and c e O of New York's Galaxy Home Care, Yolina Sakowski. And she's got, uh, just 20 years of personal and professional experience, uh, in the home care industry. She's found a lot of value in the many ways that cultures impact how we tackle these conversations. You're not gonna wanna miss this one. Standby. The Parent Projects podcast begins right now. Speaker 3 00:02:24 You're listening to parent projects, a family media and technology group production. Now here's your host, Tony Sievers. Speaker 2 00:02:34 Where we come from, uh, has a lot of impact on where we are and how we handle that. Uh, this is nothing new. It's something I think a lot of us can understand. A lot of us spend a lot of time understanding our heritage and our genealogy and where we come from, and it really is no wonder, uh, that there's going to be some cultural influence. And maybe we just wanna understand a little bit more about it. Hey, look, uh, this week I've got Yolina Skoki. Uh, she is really, I've, we've had multiple conversations and, and really I enjoy the friendship that's starting to develop where Yolina has broken down for me, just her background in the Eastern European side of the house, um, and some huge nuggets of value that got me thinking differently, uh, even about my own, uh, parent projects and how I'd handle stuff. So I'm gonna welcome her into Studio Yolina. And there, uh, thank you so much for joining us today, uh, outta New York with your organization. Um, look, this is, this is an exciting conversation. You and I started it almost a month ago, I think, Speaker 4 00:03:37 Almost a month ago. Yes. Speaker 2 00:03:38 Almost a month ago. It was enough that when we started moving into this month's themes and working through, I actually asked to modify, believe it or not, what we do against this whole month off of some of the ideas that you sparked here. So, uh, not to set you up too much, but this really, this was really important to me. Um, you, you, you're in the home healthcare space that is a, it is a messy space. It is a emotional space. It is a complex space. Can you tell us a little bit about the background that led you into dedicating so much of your life to this as a career? Speaker 4 00:04:15 Uh, yes. Uh, you forgot to mention it is a messy space, but it is very rewarding at the end of the day, uh, as a first generation immigrant, uh, coming from, uh, Ukraine, unfortunately, Ukraine is in a spotlight right now. Uh, coming here with, uh, my parents, my grandparents, uh, and, um, you know, starting a new life coming to United States for better life as a child, didn't understand anything, but, uh, the most important thing was my grandparents was my responsibility. Speaker 2 00:04:57 Ah, so, and that, that is something that you, that's something you guys share kind of culturally, right? Speaker 4 00:05:03 Yes. So, uh, uh, as my parents were trying to build a better life for all of us, uh, I was fully responsible, uh, for my grandparents and, uh, going to school and college adjusting to a new life. Um, it was always in me that, uh, I wanted to be in a healthcare field in a medical profession. And, uh, this is, uh, where I am right now. I became a nurse, and, um, home care was something that always had a spot in my heart. And, uh, this, uh, this was always my passion, uh, taking care of my grandparents, then my husband's grandparents, then, uh, extended, uh, friends and family and close friends and family, grandparents, and becoming an expert. And <laugh>, Speaker 2 00:06:01 I think, I think that's kinda Speaker 4 00:06:03 A project. And, um, here I am, uh, taking all those experience into Galaxy Home Care, treating, uh, each and every patient, uh, as a parent or grandparent of my own. Speaker 2 00:06:18 Yeah. Well, tho those are, that is one trend that I think I I've seen is when you find somebody who really felt called when they were working through their own parent projects, uh, they, they tend to get into industry afterwards. They tend to find some place to help other people. You and I were talking, you know, previously, we, I think we both have a, a shared general goal to see fewer sad stories, um, yes. For families that are, that are going through this. And, um, and I think even though they're difficult money for us, we all just, we, we wanna help that next family not make maybe some of the same mistakes that we did. Yes. Speaker 4 00:06:56 Unfortunately, this field, uh, we see a lot of sad stories. We do have, uh, happy stories, but, uh, you're not gonna see a lot of them in the healthcare field. I'm sorry, just, um, yeah, Speaker 2 00:07:13 No, you know, the, the, um, the healthcare aspect of that too is, is probably where things start to get real, uh, you know, in home, in home healthcare, that that's kind of a big spectrum. So, do you guys see, not just when the families need that, that all-in a nurse, you know, that RN kind of level of taking that, but home healthcare can start a little slower than that, right? It, it, it, it can help them with those, with smaller tasks in and around the area and around the home? Speaker 4 00:07:42 Yes. Uh, a lot of, uh, a lot of tasks for home care is, uh, assisting patients with personal care. This is when the reality, uh, this is when the reality hits where mom or dad cannot cook from themselves. So mom and dad cannot drive, or mom and dad cannot go to a doctor and attended, and everybody is busy. And, uh, we do need someone to help mom and dad. Yeah. So, uh, it usually starts with denial, uh, where children see if the children are involved. Uh, the children see that, uh, they parents need help and they would like to offer that help financially through the company, uh, through the aids. And there are some patients we are seeing that, uh, they become, uh, frequent flyers, as they say in the hospitals. And we get, uh, referrals from the hospitals saying that this person cannot be left alone and, uh, needs some help. And, uh, sometimes these patients are in denial. They still think they can. Speaker 2 00:08:54 There are, um, I, I, I think as that sets on, what I'm really looking forward to jumping into today is, um, yeah, well, is is how that sets on. How you start recognizing the issue. Maybe you're caring for somebody that's, that's got a different cultural background than you, and you're a professional caretaker. Maybe you're a friend. Maybe this was something you'd, you'd helped out with a family member and now you're helping out with a neighbor and, and we're gonna see more of stuff like that across the board. And you're, you're looking to have a better understanding of that neighbor, maybe, of where their background is. I'm, uh, Lene when, when we come back from this first break, uh, where we're gonna try to scratch, you know, the break's gonna, it's gonna try to scratch that itch at a little bit of joy and find a, a, a little bit of levity in the situation. But when we come back, I really wanna jump into this. I want to, I want to talk through those dynamics of what that felt like, uh, to, um, you know, growing up in that, that eastern European mindset mm-hmm. <affirmative> of having grandkids and grandparents take care of each other. So if you're, uh, if you're joining us today, and that's what you're looking for outside the box, stay tuned because we'll be right back with Yolina Skoki, uh, where we are talking about thinking outside of the box, utilizing this immigrant style of care. Speaker 5 00:10:11 Sometimes I'd like to smack old age, right? In the kisser. Wow. I always get the best parking spot. I think she needs a little more help. Monday, what I really need is a boyfriend that can drive at night. I can make a fashion statement out of anything. I will be fabulous. I have a little crush on my pharmacist. Speaker 6 00:10:34 With comfort Care at your side, you can live your best life possible. We know families can't be there 24 7, which is why we can help with as much or as little home care as you need from medication reminders and meal prep to everyday chores and errands, so you can live in your own home on your terms. Speaker 5 00:10:53 I wouldn't let aging stop me from being me. Speaker 6 00:10:56 Call Comfort Care now and let us create your personalized care plan and find the perfect caregiver match. Can Speaker 5 00:11:03 You show that number again? She was texting Speaker 6 00:11:06 Together with Comfort Care, you can both live your best life possible. Speaker 2 00:11:11 I am, uh, always amazed. Thanks for, for joining us back. We're, we're talking about utilizing an immigrant style of care. We have, uh, Yolina Skoki who understands this home healthcare side of the house. And there are options all over the country of doing this of phenomenal people that really understand the dynamics that can be going on. So if you are struggling at home, you're trying to figure out what the situation is, you, you are, uh, maybe you're met with some different dynamics or family or, or other stakeholders that absolutely, hands down, they gotta find some solution. But they know that going someplace else or a a nursing home is not an option against it. We're gonna see if we can add a little bit of perspective against that. And particularly, yo, thanks again for joining us today, helping us break down. Um, and, and again, this is a, it's a broad brush. Speaker 2 00:12:02 We understand it's a broad brush where it's not something to paint against everybody that sits out there. But, um, but in a generalization, you, in a conversation that you and I had had, you talked in that eastern block and that Eastern European mindset that allowed bottom line front, it allowed a grandkid to work with a grandparent, like your experience happened and get a little bit of I street credibility with mom and dad a little bit later in life, cuz they got an opportunity to see you. That also allowed the parents at that point in time, who are typically the primary wage earners and, and especially in the crush of the economy that we face here in the United States today. That's, that tends to be two family members that are working on mom and and dad that are, that are out there as many people as possible that are out there working at that age. Um, you know, you, you had some great nuggets off of that. Tell me, taking care of a grandparent, about how old were you, um, that when you started, you know, as your grandparents started needing some help and, and working through that, you know, how old were you from that and, and how did that even get introduced to you as a role in your household for you to help with? Speaker 4 00:13:20 Well, um, I was at the age of 14. And, uh, to be very honest with you, it was never an option that, uh, that was this is what you do. Uh, we go to work and you, you deal with your grandparents. But it's also very interesting how the life cycle goes. At first, grandparents help, uh, grandparents helped with the grandchildren, and then when you mature old enough, were you capable? And, uh, you know, we, we never had an option. If you are willing, the minute you are able <laugh> you are doing it. There was never an option. If you are willing or, and able, it's always, you know, the moment you are old enough and you're mature enough and you are able, and, uh, you know, when you are an immigrant and you enter a new country, you become very mature overnight. Yeah. So at the age of 14, uh, I was, uh, fully involved with my grandparents, and as they started aging, different responsibilities hit the court. Speaker 4 00:14:28 <laugh>, you know, at first it started with helping, uh, shopping and, you know, translation in Social security office. Hmm. And yes. But then, you know, as they were aging, setting up home care and seeing, you know, as they were aging, I was getting older. I needed to go to college and also start working. So, you know, setting up home care and going through the process and seeing downside of the system and seeing good thing, good sides of the system, this is, uh, this is how I got into a, this is what got me into a field. Speaker 2 00:15:09 You know, what, what's interesting on that is, um, that's, well, some of that are things that I didn't even think about, but they do happen. I mean, so my family didn't need translation per se, from language, but my family needed translation and technology and there's a lot of families out there that need that. Right. Well, Speaker 4 00:15:27 That's, uh, yeah, we didn't get that that far. Fortunately, uh, my grandparents passed before. Right. The technology beca became that where we are right now. But even with little things, uh, you know, yeah. Uh, they did not speak a word of English. So every little, every little event was a, was an event. Even going to the bank is an event. Speaker 2 00:15:54 Well, and I, I think, uh, even a lot of young people today will, would, would require the same thing. They don't speak the technology language to be able to work through. And increasingly that becomes a problem. Especially one of the, one of, uh, I think through some of the chief concerns I hear from that perspective is businesses like banks, uh, utilities, like businesses, you have to, you have to do business with them. <laugh>. Speaker 4 00:16:18 You have to, yeah. Speaker 2 00:16:21 And they have all started to adopt in order to keep up with, with the flow of best practices for business. They've all adopted paperless statements and they're using online. Oh, Speaker 4 00:16:31 That's a disaster. Yes. For elder population. <laugh>. It, Speaker 2 00:16:35 It, it really is. And, and it is one thing to say, you know, I don't expect, uh, you know, my dad to, to be a big person in text message. I don't expect him to get into Reddit or, or to move to something like that where we might look for information. Uh, but he has to do email whether he wanted to or not, even though that wasn't a part of his work environment, which it was for me, he had to learn email because that was how his bank communicated with him. And now it's the only way that he can get a statement out of many businesses he does business with. Um, and that, that, well, Speaker 4 00:17:08 Unfortunately, in, uh, uh, different cultures, the family dynamic is different. Where you saying your dad had to, uh, in, uh, a lot of, uh, Eastern European families, their parents don't have to Yeah. So as a child's responsibility to do it for a parent, so whatever my parents or grandparents, the minute they're out of their comfort zone, they don't have to do anything <laugh>. Speaker 2 00:17:37 Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, but they, a Speaker 4 00:17:39 Younger generation responsibility. Well, Speaker 2 00:17:42 And they get, they get an opportunity. I mean, that young people are hungry for that opportunity to succeed at stuff. And I, I gotta think that that provided you, you know, a platform to, to earn value and to find value in the family unit that you had a place and you had, you had a role and that responsibility instead of really just kind of existing as you kind of grew up and ate and morphed yourself into whatever you were going to be in the world, <laugh>. Speaker 4 00:18:10 Yeah, of course. So Speaker 2 00:18:12 What, um, do you have anything that sticks in the back of your head from growing up that, like a lesson or something you went through that just has, just really is prominent or has stuck out or maybe shaped the way that you look at something by any chance? Speaker 4 00:18:26 Uh, in terms, um, yeah. Let me keep on the topic. Well, uh, I guess, uh, it's the immigration process. <laugh>. Speaker 2 00:18:36 Yeah. Speaker 4 00:18:36 That's, uh, yes. Immigration process and building up, uh, a new life especially, um, especially around elderly. Because when, uh, when we came, there were a lot of elderly around us, my grandparents on both sides, and they were all needed to be set up with apartments, with, uh, with everything, with doctors. And, you know, uh, growing up I always knew this is where I have to be. I have to be in this field and I have to navigate and help people navigate. Yeah. Especially when we arrived. Uh, well, yes, I will talk about one event that sparked the most when we arrived into United States. Um, we were here for five days with, uh, four elderly people with my aunt. Uh, and my little cousin who was six years old, was, uh, hit by a car as a pedestrian and being in the United States for five days with a minimum, uh, language, and being 14 years old, and, uh, spending two weeks in a hospital navigating through eight surgeries, and at the same time, taking care of grandparents, not to make them upset and, you know, Speaker 2 00:20:02 Wow. Speaker 4 00:20:03 Buying the story that, oh, he is doing great. They just did few stitches. So why are you spending 10 days in a hospital? You know, it's also a very big aspect of a culture, uh, not to make, not to upset elderly. Okay. Not to worry them. So not Speaker 2 00:20:25 To worry them. So when you say upset, upset, not, not to anger, but you mean you mean to worry not to worry them? To Speaker 4 00:20:31 Worry them, yes. Not to upset. Speaker 2 00:20:34 Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:20:36 Yes. And, you know, being in the United States for five days in New York, and then spending the next two weeks in a hospital at 14 years old with a five year old, uh, child going through old surgeries. This was, and at the same time, it was, uh, it was shocking. And at the same time, I, every time I think about it, I say, I, I loved, I loved the hospital. I loved being there. I was looking at nurses, I was looking at doctors. I was looking at people taking care of him, and I was fascinated. Speaker 2 00:21:15 Yeah. Well, and you were, you're, it so you, you're capable of it. I mean, it, it formed you to be a, a very productive member of society long term from that. But I, I, you know, and I, and I can think to a couple of tasks that I pull. Yeah. I have five children, so this really resonates with me. When I think about the lessons, I want my children to learn what I hope, you know, in not messing them up and messing them up as little as possible, better than that. I hope that they, they absorb some great things. And one is empathy. I really, I really want my children and I value my older children's grasp of empathy and to think about their impacts of their actions on other people. And it may, in that I hear in your cultural influence there, that, and not worrying a grandparent means you're thinking about how to message things and how to posture, how you do something empathetically to another human being. And at a 14 year old, completely capable of that. If, if, you know, once, once they know to do better, they, they could, they can completely do that. And how valuable that could really be in a situation. That's a, that's a, a really great strength. You, you had also mentioned that working through social security <laugh>, this is Speaker 4 00:22:32 Obligation <laugh>, Speaker 2 00:22:33 Right? I would imagine, so you had healthcare, you had medical bills to go through. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that insurance didn't work quite the same way. No. ICD 10, maybe at that point in time to have to work your way through the codes and everything, but Well, Speaker 4 00:22:47 ICD nines, <laugh> Speaker 2 00:22:48 The ICD nine. Yeah. Right. You still had some level of that. And to understand how billing works and coverage might work or not, or entitlement programs help and, and, and social systems help. Social security in particular, no joke, this is one that I think a lot of people believe they will wake up someday in their late fifties, and the knowledge ferry will sprinkle into their brain what they need to know on Social Security. But if you've got that opportunity to understand and to see it and, and what its place is, and how it's being used at that for, at the formative years, boy, how, how much better grasp and understanding of what's going on would you have as you get older? I, I think that could be really be valuable. That's, that's, uh, that's fascinating. What did, what did you have to do with, uh, with Social security? I guess you have immigration as well, right? So yeah, Speaker 4 00:23:40 Through immigration, we had to apply for everything. And they had to apply for social Security for all the paperwork for Green Card. And at that time, there were no internet. So it was all done on paper, and it was a new, it was a, a very new system. And, uh, everything was new to us, and we had to learn and you had to transcribe everything to your elderly Speaker 2 00:24:06 Right. Into the language in which they're gonna be able to understand it, that Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 4 00:24:10 And not worry them. My, my grandfather, uh, we were in the country for a few years, and my grandfather unfortunately got sick. And at that time, uh, you know, in eastern European culture, nursing home is, uh, a worse curse. So if your elderly is a nursing home in, if, if your elderly family member is in the nursing home, this is your not, uh, acceptable member of society. This was not there, there were very few nursing homes usually for homeless people, or I, I honestly don't even know. And here, uh, my grandfather got, unfortunately very sick. And, um, I was just entering, you know, still a teenager, and they were telling me in the hospital that he needs to spend few days in rehabilitation center. So I was very excited. I had no idea what it was. So the minute we arrived at rehabilitation center, I realized that we're in a nursing home. So I told, wait a minute, is this a rehabilitation center? Is this a nursing home? Because I saw a sign, you know, like every facility usually call a b abc rehabilitation and nursing services. Speaker 2 00:25:28 Yeah. Speaker 4 00:25:29 So I told them that, no, no, no, no, we can't stay in a nursing home <laugh>. So I had to, I discharged my grandfather against medical advice, and I told him, don't worry about it. I will set everything up at home. Just please let me take him home. He cannot be in a nursing home. He has to be home. I promise you I will have physical therapy. This was my first exposure to home care. Speaker 2 00:25:56 Wow. Speaker 4 00:25:56 I was about 16 years old. I had to figure out how to set up home care services, uh, for my grandfather. Wow. Because I could not, I don't think my mom even knows this story, because if she knew that he spent five minutes in a nursing home, as I was reporting to my mom, I was saying, oh, they're saying it's some rehabilitation center. Yeah. He's gonna get a lot of physical therapy. But, uh, this was so cult. This is, so culture was, and is so cultural and unacceptable that I had to learn the whole home care, uh, home care industry in New York to set it up for him within the next few days. Speaker 2 00:26:40 So what is a man alive? And, and I gotta imagine, actually, let me caveat this, and I think it's important that we've put that out. There are, there are exceptions, right? I mean, there are, there are extenuating circumstances that, that obviously would come through, but in general, what you're, what you're saying is just that the family really values making sure that this is happening in the family home, in that private environment. Um, but, but, uh, so the organiza, so the family and in that cultural influence, you're good with people coming in to help. It's just they, they need to come into the home for that to happen in that privacy. Is does it have to do with the privacy around that? Does it have to do with the comforts, the control? What would you say is the, uh, you know, a driving factor in your mind? Speaker 4 00:27:23 Uh, I think it has to do with the concept that the best place is home. The best place in your, in person's life is home. And maybe it has to do culturally that nursing homes were not providing, I, I don't know. I was a child when I left. And, uh, but I think it mostly has to do with the cultural mindset is that, you know, you have parents helping their children, and then you have children helping their parents. So when a parent helping with a grandchild, they're helping their children. When you, when a grandchild helps with, provides help to a grandparent, you are helping your parents, right? So, uh, it's, uh, it's just a cultural lifespan where you, you know, there's no better place than home. And, uh, in terms of home care providing, uh, home care services in comparison to a nursing home, because you're not gonna get a one-on-one care at nursing home, uh, versus at home. Speaker 2 00:28:34 Right, right. Absolutely. Speaker 4 00:28:36 And, um, as people are aging, the comfort zone, uh, the, uh, uh, comfort comfortable environment plays a big role in, uh, healing and aging. Speaker 2 00:28:48 Oh, wait, a absolutely. And we see that, especially when there's an accident in, in the age that have to be taken out of the home and to a hospital, and just the confusion and the time that it takes to settle back down. Or, you know, when you do that transition, we talk a lot with families as if they're doing a downsizing and a senior relocation project. Speaker 4 00:29:08 Yes. Speaker 2 00:29:08 There's, there's a drop. Right. There's that, there's, there's that drop in, in capability that will rebound at some level. But generally, we see never, never fully comes back because the change of that home environment, it really does have a, have a, an interesting and fascinating, uh, hold on Speaker 4 00:29:27 That even, uh, ICD nine diagnosis for that when, uh, the patient end up in the hospital and they spent few d you know, certain amounts of time in, uh, unfamiliar environment, there's even ICD nine, uh, code for that, that I'm sure ICD 10, it's called hospital psychosis. People get very confused and very lost and very agitated. And the minute you bring them home, they, they see their environment and, um, uh, the, it's, uh, the recovery or whatever the situation was, once you're in your comfort zone, everything is, uh, much more comfortable for patient, settle down. They're, they're doing, uh, we just see a lot that the patients even, uh, a lot of times families are providing one-on-one care for a patient in a nursing home, or as we call it, rehabilitation center on a temporary basis. Uh, so a patient feels, uh, patient feels safe when they have one-on-one care, and then they go home with this person. But it's still not the same as you are spending days and nights at home. Speaker 2 00:30:45 Right, right. Well, and I, uh, what I think that also starts to, to help us understand is why we see throughout this senior, the senior living environments now, this, this increased change towards making, uh, their living environments look more and more like a home. I think they, they understand that making as comfortable as possible whole, a huge, huge changes to that, even in rehabilitation communities or in long term senior care. Even, even when it gets down, we've seen a memory care, uh, at that level. It's still, uh, it, it definitely raises the expense. It's definitely raised the cost, but we can understand that what, what they're getting after of that and why they're going after that and trying to create a home environment. Because the importance of it for the Yeah. For the yes. Speaker 4 00:31:35 Everything, everything is better at home. And even the concept of assisted living facilities, I guess, uh, yeah. It's also not as old as nursing homes. And people see a lot, even when you talk to patients, uh, the patients who are, uh, mentally capable, but physically or not, they, they're saying, oh, no, no, no, I'm not spending my, uh, end of life in a nursing home. I would love to be an assisted living facility. Yeah. So those, uh, also, they make them feel like home. Speaker 2 00:32:08 Well, and that, that also ties back in a lot of the concepts we covered last week when we looked at the palliative care market mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, and it really opens up the understanding, which is a, a I was just, was extremely surprised to see how, how, how mu Well, I love to seeing the ground it's getting, but I was surprised to see it's absence and, uh, and where it sits because it's outside the payer model, the traditional payer model, but the value that that provides and can provide to those families, riding out through those, you know, in that step, maybe prior, just prior to hospice, full hospice, but in that understanding of later life stages. That's great. Uh, a, uh, you know, Elena, I, I'm very much looking forward to, uh, to tying a bow around some of those, those, uh, this, this conversation here for these takeaways. Speaker 2 00:32:56 I'd love to take a quick pause if we could, and I think we we're gonna get a little, little snippet as to what you've done with this in, uh, in your life. Uh, we're, we're talking with, uh, Elena Skoki today in, uh, the New York market. We're talking about utilizing this immigrant style care, adopting some of the thoughts, the philosophies, and, and finding the value in the different cultural backgrounds and how we deal with aging. And we're gonna take a sneak peek into what she's done with this in their organization, uh, right now. So stay tuned and we'll be back just after this. Speaker 7 00:33:29 Galaxy Home Care provides compassionate quality in-home care services for your senior disabled and recovering loved ones, so they can remain safe and independent in the comfort of their own homes. Whether you are eligible for Medicaid or paying with private funds, are trained in professional caregivers, help your family members meet all of their needs with empathy and patients for more details, call us at (718) 247-8300 or visit our website at www.galaxyhomecareny.com Speaker 2 00:34:05 And welcome back. That is a great understanding of where things like this can go. And we are talking with Elena Ksky here, utilizing this immigrant style of care, that influence that's had on her, uh, as you started it. Elena, thanks. Thanks again for, uh, joining us in studio this week. I'm gonna, um, I'm gonna take a moment to probably as we gonna wrap some of this out or wrap some of this up. I'd really like to, um, to probably summarize some key takeaways that I, I believe it or not, you started throwing nuggets at, I don't know that you even realized all of these little ones that you threw out there, but they, they really, they really matter, and they can help us think outside the box about maybe our own situation or where we get stuck off of 'em. Um, do you mind if we run down a couple of those real quick? Speaker 2 00:34:55 Not at all. Awesome. Okay. So from that perspective, one of the first ones I think that, that's important is to understand that if you're caring for somebody that maybe has a different cultural background, getting an understanding of that out of their community will probably help you understand any type of conflict. And, and, and this is, this is almost a no-brainer, but sometimes I think we are, we are running in the army, we would say, running to the sound of the guns, right? <laugh>, you are, you are jumping on that immediate thing that's in front of you, and taking time to understand where they come from and to unpack maybe what their experiences looked like with their parents and with their grandparents up front, I pulled out of that, that that can have a big value as to how I can better help them when I'm advocating for somebody of the age. Is that, is that, am I picking up what you threw down? Speaker 4 00:35:45 Uh, no, absolutely. So, uh, the first rule providing, uh, the first rule in providing home care, and this is, uh, you know, this is a big, uh, role in, in, uh, galaxy Home Care. We, uh, we meet with the family, we meet with the patient, and, uh, we get to know the needs, the culture, and, uh, how we can accommodate to make patient care at the best that it's possible. So, uh, it's all about patient care, but cultural aspect plays a big role in a patient care. Speaker 2 00:36:27 Well, and, and so for you at home that are watching, if you're starting your parent project, or you're working and advocating for an aged loved one or, or, or someone else, and you're in that step prior to engaging somebody like Galaxy to, to come in and to help you with your situation, take that lesson, learned from that, right? Take the time to understand that situation and build that empathy. Uh, number two thing we talked through was we talked about family credibility that comes in the background of that, one of the most difficult things that, you know, I, I have a Christian perspective of life, and, uh, and in that perspective, it even recognizes that not even Christ went back to his hometown and was valued by his community for what he could do, right? So, like, it's, it's, it's a human experience that this is difficult, but there are, uh, you brought an aspect of when, when, um, when you're helping a grandparent, just like your grandparents were helping their children by helping the grandchildren Speaker 4 00:37:28 Yes. Speaker 2 00:37:29 A grandchild. As you're, as you move into those teen years, and you really can start, it's, it really seems like they're 14, 15, 16. These are years that you could predictably engage, uh, young people on, you know, case by case basis. But you could predictably get into there and reasonably expect that they can, they can pull something. There's going to be some value as they're helping mom and dad by helping grandma and grandpa, uh, and or even older aunts and uncles, or Theos and TIAs, or Zs and Zs and, and anybody else that it might sit in your culture. There's a great value. And then when parents get to be a little bit older here, you've seen your children respond and you've seen them on stage and how they've performed. They've gotten to work through some of these issues, and it's just, it's another resource, um, uh, that that's available to help. I, I love the generational build of, um, of value that, that you came from. That is it, did I, did I capture that one correctly? Speaker 4 00:38:30 Yes, fam, uh, I feel that family values is the stronger value in our lives. And if you can bring it to your children and pass it on to your children, and, uh, we'll learn from our parents and grandparents and pass it on, because we are here for each other. That's the definition of family and the better values when still the better care will take of each other, Speaker 2 00:38:58 You know, regardless too of where that faith or how that, if that family has come in, maybe even your own upbringing, I'd say in leaning in, if you're facing a parent project today, as resources get increasingly scarce as inflation continues to rise, and there's, there's more than enough stuff out there that's gonna tell you to be afraid. Uh, generally what I recognize in emergency management and in other restructuring stuff in my, in my previous life before I really got into, started dealing with families, but now dealing with families, family, everybody tends to tribe up. Everybody tends to, yeah. Win that difficult. Eventually what's going, one of that step is, is people start to get down into their basic tribal segments and they start identifying. I think we see a lot of it in politics, Stephen, uh, today, all that, aside from it, that family unit, uh, is at the core of, of kind of that tribal instinct. It's something that's built in us. So, you know, as, as we say in our company, like, go with the water <laugh>. If you're trying figure out how to put it in there, water runs downhill. It's gonna find a way to do there. Go with it. Use it for what it is, and that natural inclination, and try to build a care plan, uh, and a plan of attack for your project, taking advantage of, uh, of some of those things, I think it's gonna, it's gonna do you better, um, than, uh, trying to fight it. Speaker 4 00:40:21 I would also love to add that it is very, very important to, um, to plan a parent project because, uh, when it's done and I feel when it's done in a timely structured environment, it's always better than it is a part of an emergency reaction. And we need something today, or we needed it yesterday, but we are not ready and the house is not prepared, and the finances are not prepared, but we need to take care of our parents. Speaker 2 00:40:58 Y uh, that Speaker 4 00:40:59 Is very important aspect of that Speaker 2 00:41:02 A, a ab absolutely. I, uh, this is a place too where I, I'd love to add the perspective that that really comes off of a, a military, a misunderstood part of the military experience in the United States that I think, uh, could add value on that. Uh, we spent a lot of detail in, in writing a plan of action that, that details all the way down to the individual person and doing a plan mm-hmm. <affirmative> at the beginning of an execution of that plan, one of the first kind of ceremonial steps is to take that plan and to drop it in the garbage can, <laugh>, uh, and, and as, yeah, as, as everything sets out, because the value of the plan is not necessarily just in the execution. Chances are whatever you plan for some major factor or assumption probably changes right away. And, and, and you felt this, that you, you know, you're, you've already felt this, you figured this out. Speaker 2 00:41:52 If you're at home, I'm, I'm confident of that. But the value of that planning is to understand how things are connected and how they might be synchronized. And if you guys can, and if you plan that, and not to plan that specifically in isolation, but to plan that with other people to the left and right to keep that organization, what it will allow to have happen is everyone then should be able to understand the intent of what you're trying to do. And you would want to set a plan where if everything goes wrong, somebody to your left or to your right that might influence your plan is able to make a reasonable decision that's in line with what everybody wanted to accomplish without any other information, they're going to be able to take the situation in front of them and make the most reasonable thing as possible. I'm telling you, this will not only benefit your family, this will benefit your own peace of mind and your mental health for what it takes to write out the final days with a family member or a loved one. So, um, yeah, I, you, you just, sorry to spark that and to grab that from you, but could Speaker 4 00:42:59 Not have been. Speaker 2 00:43:02 Yeah. Um, so the, the, um, the other thing that I, I, you know, one of the last things I think that comes on, on top of that credibility, that understanding their background, where they are, that family credibility. Um, one thing that, uh, that we had touched on really earlier, maybe in the prep side, was under of expectations and to be aware of some expectations. So just on our way out, I wanna raise that. Um, you, you had, you had on the side, you had privately talked with me about how one challenge sometimes is one, one person may see their experience, uh, or the experience of a neighbor next to them, and that sets an expectation of what they think they should have in their family Yes. And what they should see or where that is. How would you, what would you say to a family that's, that's maybe experiencing some, some frustration or some difficulty with something like that? Speaker 4 00:43:54 Uh, well, uh, you know, uh, the expectations have to be realistic. So if, uh, if your neighbor, if your next door neighbor for the past 50 years always had, uh, different family dynamics than yours, you cannot expect, uh, family dynamics to change overnight. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I always tell my families, you have, you know, you have to have realistic expectation from your children. If we're talking to a patient from your children, if we're talking to children from your parents, you always have to have realistic expectations from the aide. They're here to assist you. Your mom's aide is not here to direct her life or your life. Your mom's aide is to assist her to make her life better, to make quality of life better. It is your responsibility to direct your parents' care, or it is a responsibility of significant other or children or someone assigned, uh, to that person. Speaker 4 00:45:04 But, uh, it's not the aid that is directing your mom's life. And sometimes, uh, we hear from families, oh, but my neighbor, well, you need to have realistic expectations. So what we think we are doing better by bringing those examples, uh, we, we never do, we don't talk about other people without their presence. But when it's being brought up that my neighbor has a better aid, or my neighbor has a better child, or my mother has a neighbor has a better grandchild, we always tell families that. Let's talk about how making your experiences to accommodate your life, and, uh, so realistic expectation is, uh, is a very, very important. And, uh, uh, here at Galaxy, we provide, uh, free in-home evaluations where we meet with families, we meet with patients. Sometimes we have to meet with all 10, 10 children, and to make the process smooth, we'll always advise, like, let's have one point person, because unfortunately, we cannot have a nurse communicating with 10 children, Speaker 2 00:46:17 Right, right. Speaker 4 00:46:18 During the day to give the same reports. So, uh, those, uh, in-home evaluations are very, very helpful for our patient liaisons to feel and learn of a family dynamic and what would be the best care culturally and other, uh, aspects that we can provide to this patient. Speaker 2 00:46:44 Brilliant. Uh, a Elena, tell us where, uh, families that might be in the New York City area or the NASA area up in New, in New York and in other markets, where, where can they find you guys, if they're looking? I, if they wanna get more information from you. Y Speaker 4 00:46:59 Uh, we, we, we are always with 24 7, uh, agency. You can always, uh, contact us, uh, through email, uh, or through phone. Okay. Uh, our email is, uh, general email in info Galaxy home care and y.com, and we can always be reached out by phone. We are always here, we're always available, provide in-home evaluations Speaker 2 00:47:28 And, uh, social media. Uh, can we find you out on social media? Speaker 4 00:47:32 Uh, yes. We are on, uh, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and, uh, Speaker 2 00:47:38 Fantastic. And you work as Galaxy Homecare Speaker 4 00:47:43 And, uh, Speaker 2 00:47:44 Uh, the, the handle for you guys, if they're looking for you to find you on, you know what we can do, Speaker 4 00:47:49 Just Galaxy Home Care. Speaker 2 00:47:50 Brilliant. We'll put that down below also so that, uh, you've got those links to be able to connect in with them. And boy, Elena, I, I, that was fantastic, right? Uh, I really enjoy the time to sit and break that down. That is a, again, understanding too that that generalization that you look or, or work from, uh, outta that, that Eastern European mindset, but such incredible value for those of us that maybe need to think a little bit outside of the box or looking from some other ways to understand how to care for a loved one up there. I appreciate you taking time with us and sharing your time. Talented treasures. Thank Speaker 4 00:48:24 You. It was my pleasure. Thank you. Speaker 8 00:48:32 Well, that's it for the team this week, and thanks for joining us. If you've enjoyed the content, remember to subscribe and to share this episode on the app that you're using right now. Your reviews and your comments, they really help us expand our reach as well as our perspectives. So if you have time, also drop us a note. Let us know how we're doing for tips and tools to clarify your parent project, simplify communication with your stakeholders, and verify the professionals that you choose. You can find us on YouTube, follow us on Instagram and Facebook. Thanks again for trusting us. Until our next episode, behold and be held help. Speaker 3 00:49:05 Thank you for listening to this Parent Projects podcast production. To access our show notes, resources, or forums, join us on your favorite social media platform, or go to parent projects.com. This show is for informational and educational purposes only. Before making any decisions, consult a professional credential in your local area. This show is copyrighted by Family Media and Technology Group, incorporated and parent projects l l c. Written permissions must be granted before syndication or rebroadcast.

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