Episode 8

May 11, 2022

00:32:16

#8 | Tom McCoy | War Stories to Benefits

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Tony Siebers Bina Colman
#8 | Tom McCoy | War Stories to Benefits
Parent Projects - Aging In America
#8 | Tom McCoy | War Stories to Benefits

May 11 2022 | 00:32:16

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 00:00:06 You're listening to parent projects Speaker 2 00:00:12 From story to benefits when, uh, when you've got to deal, uh, with a family member that you're pretty sure they're veteran, uh, but you're not sure where that starts. And in front of you lays the whole healthcare system. We've got answers for that today. Uh, we've got Tom McCoy. We're gonna walk through, how do you work from story to benefits, what to expect as you start unpacking things and you work in the system and just take that mess and try to give a little smoother things. Tom McCoy, commander of the Arizona disabled veterans. You'd, Speaker 1 00:01:06 You're listening to parent projects, a family media and technology group production. Now here's your host, Tony Seeber. Speaker 2 00:01:16 Hey, welcome in this week crew and we're broadcasting live as always. Uh, and then we'll repost our boards. I'm Tony seas. And I am the host here at the parent projects podcast I have with me, Tom McCoy, um, who is the commander of the Arizona disabled American veterans sits up here, Tom. Thanks for joining us. Thank you for having, yeah, this is an organization I belong to. I've been involved with dab, uh, since I came back from, uh, Iraq in 2007 is when I became aware of you. Uh, I mean, I, I always make a point to go out and say upfront, I mean, thank you for your service and, and what you do. And I know it's hard for us as veteran sometimes to know where to respond to that, but really you step in every day in so many different hats and we appreciate it. Speaker 2 00:02:01 Thank you. Yeah. Um, and so we, we've got a, a couple of real, um, important things that we want to unpack related to, um, when, uh, when a family member, um, might believe how they might recognize that that, um, VA healthcare is first of all needed or that they have a veteran, um, what type of issues have sit out there where to go to them? They look at it, you've got the healthcare system, you benefit system you've got, how does that interact with maybe state systems and Medicaid systems or all techs here in the state, or there's so many different layers of it today. We're hoping to peel the onion back a little bit, um, you know, upfront right away. We've, we've had a great conversation earlier to today. I'd really like to talk about what are, what are some of the first things that a family member may see, uh, with that, that, um, that as they're, as they're getting older and that they may have to step into where a family member might have to it and begin approaching some of those issues, what do you guys see at Speaker 4 00:03:02 BD? So we run to a lot of situations where the, uh, the adult veteran and the family has gotten older and is less able to care for himself. Yeah. And the, uh, children of that veteran now need to step in and help that veteran. And they are unaware of any of the processes or procedures that they need to follow. Yeah. To get that care from Speaker 2 00:03:24 The veteran. Yeah. Some will say maybe they've just heard a war story, but some might be, um, anger or these other what those Speaker 4 00:03:31 Types of, yeah. War stories and anxiety, um, nightmares, uh, injuries that they've, uh, incurred during the military service that they've never soughted treatment for before. Um, all are things that the VA can help them with. The DV can help them get claims from those yeah. Disabilities. Speaker 2 00:03:50 Yeah. And we'll for, for everybody here, we've got Harley that has joined us as well. Uh, your service companion helps. And so you see some movement sitting behind us are where that is. It's, uh, it's not haunted. We're actually live today from, uh, manna house and, uh, manna house. If you know, we, we work with the, with the coffee cup refuge coffee company. This is actually where that's done. And if you didn't catch the episode earlier today with Steve cap, with Cappo race and John, um, it is, um, this area in manna house catches those that maybe didn't get caught my family member and they end up. And one thing that I've seen in the homelessness, particularly out of the veteran population is, uh, they all tend to share in common. They don't have that last, they don't have family, they don't have family that stepped in. Speaker 2 00:04:39 So the fact that your family member and you see it in the first place kudos for making that recommendation. Yes. So now we're going, um, now we're gonna unpack a couple of these things. So you've got memories that are starting to come up, or, or maybe now it's combining with medical issues that might come. And dad says, yeah, you know, I hurt my back in a home accident when I roll over in a ammo can slammed into my back and, and hurt my cos or whatever. Um, now we've gotta turn that into something or something to work to. Um, what are, there are two main offices of the VA and you can currently gotta get started in them. What, what are they, and what's the difference between Speaker 4 00:05:18 Those branches? So the veterans department of veterans affairs consists of two administrations. One is the veterans health administration. The other is the veterans benefits administration. The health administration provides, um, ho hospitals and, um, care facilities across the country. And, uh, the benefits administration provides, uh, benefits to service connected disabilities for veterans who suffer, um, injuries in the military. Speaker 2 00:05:45 And, and in general, those, those military, we, we think of there's, there's combat related stuff, but, um, it, it, it really is when, uh, it, you know, as, as a commander myself in the military, I would have, um, I'd have to explain to you, you have a certain, you came in the military a certain way, and uncle Sam made assessments during the course of your military career, the moment you opted in and veered, and then afterwards, as they, as they end processed you, they took a snapshot of your health. And they did that again, probably a couple of times in your career, but when you left an out cross, they definitely took another snapshot. And the change between a and B represents really what we're talking about as something that might be service related disabilities. Speaker 4 00:06:27 Agree. Exactly. Speaker 2 00:06:28 Yeah. Um, and, and when family members are, are going through those things, um, we, how often do you think, how often do vets have those medical records or have that kinda, how often do you see that they, they have all that Speaker 4 00:06:41 Stuff. Yeah. Um, nine times outta 10, the veteran has left the military service without is service jacket or medical records. Okay. Um, so then we have to, we have to retrieve those medical records from the military. And at the same time we need to get the veteran, um, healthcare recorded. Yeah. So that, uh, we can take action against the VA for, um, disability connected benefits. Yeah. So it's connected Speaker 2 00:07:08 Disabilities, and that is, and we're gonna get in with what those veteran service organizations, which, you know, DAV is and how that works as a 5 0 1 C4. Uh, but the, uh, in the, in the front end. So your family member, you recognize this, you see, these are the things to do. Um, the two are just making really clear off of that point. You are concurrently going to get them enrolled in the veteran benefits portion of that. And the veteran healthcare side of that. There's a really important document to make that happen. Right. And it is the Speaker 4 00:07:39 DD two 14, the Speaker 2 00:07:40 DD two 14, the DD two 14. Um, in, in a nutshell, Speaker 4 00:07:45 That's the proof of your military service. Speaker 2 00:07:48 And it's got the dates that you serve. It's got dates that you would've been on active duty, not on, in, uh, in reserve duty. Every time you got called up, it's got any service awards. Anytime you served overseas, it makes a note, the notes, all those things, there's several different copies of it. Do two 14 kind of noted down at the bottom of that there's member copies and other things. Does any of that matter, or if they've got a DD two 14 in general, they can, they can probably, Speaker 4 00:08:13 Yeah. If they have a DD two 14 in general, we can get the rest. Speaker 2 00:08:16 Awesome. Speaker 4 00:08:17 Awesome. We can get whatever we need. Yeah. We just need a place to start. Great. So we need to be able to show that they, uh, serve for a certain period of time. We need to know what theaters they served in so that we know what kind of, um, things that they qualify for. Yeah. Um, Congress is constantly passing new laws to, uh, provide veterans with benefits mm-hmm <affirmative> and the D AE has a lobby in Congress, and we lobby Congress for those laws. And, uh, right now we're working on the PFAS for contaminated waters and, uh, at the bases across the country and, uh, the bird pits. Speaker 2 00:08:56 Yeah. We're working on that. It's a big thing for my generation. Yeah. In particular, over overseas in the middle east, uh, the, you know, obviously there's waste you, it's a whole city of, of soldiers working through that. And those that waste gets burned off and that the toxic fumes from that waste is cause problems that manifested for us in ways that maybe things like ancient orange during the Vietnam conflict or others get there. Right. Um, the, uh, there's a, a one a term you talked with me earlier that I think was important to know. Cause you might hear it called, um, a presumptive benefit. Can you tell Speaker 4 00:09:29 Me yes. I was just gonna mention that. So presumptive benefits, that's what we lobby for in Congress. We wanna make these conditions presumptive, which means that we presume, because you were in a certain area serving at a certain time, the government presumes that you have that condition. Yeah. So if you show symptoms of, um, um, say for Vietnam Parkinson's or cancer or SHA heart disease, others, a list of 23, I believe right now for, uh, Vietnam veterans, um, those are presumptively as those are assumed to be a condition that you would have as a result of your service in, in, uh, theater. Speaker 2 00:10:08 Yeah. That would make the, these are things that happened to other people that served in there that DD two 14 is what shows you were there. And then in time that health record reformed from longer in should show a change of health there, but also that these things that doesn't necess, it didn't necessarily have to manifest during that period. Right. These are things that could come later without big challenges and difficulty, Speaker 4 00:10:30 Right. So when we fi file your claim for disability, uh, connected benefits, service, connected disability benefits. Yeah. Um, the government doesn't contest those claims because they're presumptive. And so, uh, you'll get your disability rating quicker and get your healthcare benefits started that way. Speaker 2 00:10:47 And those ratings are important. Well, I'm gonna make another presumption out here. I'm gonna presume it's a good opportunity for us to grab a little bit of coffee in here. And we're gonna take, uh, into seeing this from behind the scenes, but the how about the front end and a word, uh, about, uh, the refuge coffee. Speaker 5 00:11:05 Hey guys, uh, this is Tony at the parent projects podcast. And if you are powered by coffee, the way that I'm powered by coffee, I think you'll appreciate knowing a way that you can help the last lost and least of us that didn't have a great transition. You see the refuge coffee company is a social enterprise operated by Catholic charities of central and Northern Arizona, where they use this coffee and this business model to help homeless veterans at the mana house, transitional community. Get back on their feet, help a veteran, turn a handout into a hand up by giving them the opportunity to earn your business purchase coffee [email protected]. That's the refuge az.com. If you order six or more bags, shipping will be free. And if you tell 'em that parent project sent you, I'm gonna send you a travel coffee mug. Thank you again. And let's get back to the show, Speaker 2 00:12:00 Everybody. Uh, again, I've got Tom McCoy commander, um, of Arizona's disabled American veterans. Thanks again for joining us. Let's, uh, let's talk for some critical discussions. So, uh, in the first segment we, we walked through and understood, um, from, from how you see or something might manifest. And we know we've gotta get into this system in getting with the system. We started with a D two 14. It is now time to start pulling some documentation along, uh, what you say matters. Everything is critical accuracy. Um, how you explain yourself can be so, so difficult. That was something dab did really, really well for me. And I'm sure other veteran service organizations can help. Uh, but dab helped me take my experience and put it into words. What is it that a V talk? What is it VSSO um, how does dab work as a BSR? What does that mean? Uh, and how do you help do what you did for me for Speaker 4 00:12:56 Others? So the disabled American veterans is a chartered veteran service organization. We're chartered by Congress. We're a 5 0 1 <inaudible> four, which means we're a social welfare organization. Our goal is to service veterans in getting their claims, benefits process, providing transportation for them to, from their appointments at the hospitals and providing that transportation network to the VA so that they can get those patients in. Yeah. Um, the DAV is, um, very well adapted to, um, writing claims for, um, claims are based on title 38 code. And, uh, you have to understand the terminology in that code in order to get your claims processed properly. The dab service officers are able to do that. Yeah. Uh, most chapters across the country have at least one or two service officers that will help the veterans file claims, um, their veterans themselves. So they can talk to the veteran to veteran, um, get a better understanding of what needs to be done and they know how to get those records processed. Um, quite often veterans have, um, seen other medical providers and been told that they have a preexisting condition. Mm-hmm <affirmative>, uh, it could be something that they encountered in the military and never addressed because they didn't want to go to the VA or they thought that the, the VA was for the veterans. They really need it. I hear that quite often. Yeah. Um, and the, the VA is there for all veterans and you wanna make sure that all veterans take advantage of the benefits that they're entitled to. Yeah. Um, so that's what the Daab Speaker 2 00:14:28 Does well, and that coordinated, that congressional charter that allows you access to records, for instance, right. You have access to, to any, any service records that said that, correct Speaker 4 00:14:38 Dab, national service officers have full access to your BA records so they can follow your claim to the claims process at the BBA. And, uh, they can initiate all the actions that need to happen throughout claims process Speaker 2 00:14:52 And the VBA B the veteran benefit administration portion of the veterans affairs or the VA, because we are, we are kind of a, the Navy army guy. You put us together and we will have more acronyms than you can shake a stick at <laugh>. I'm pretty sure. And half the time, it doesn't almost usually means about the same thing, but it could be quite different. I've learned. Yeah. Some, our termin things. Um, so, uh, you know, I am a part of a couple of 5 0 1 C 19 social organizations. The VFW and American Legion are pretty common one. Um, what, uh, what would be, um, a difference when it comes down to filing a claim or working there? Uh, is, is that something that, um, that the American Legion would work for? Or do I see da baked in do something like that or how, what, what's the difference in those two Speaker 4 00:15:40 Things? We have quite a few dab service officers who are BFW members and work at the FW posts. Okay. Um, we have quite a few chapters in this state that also hold their meetings at VFW post mm-hmm <affirmative>. So, um, and the American Legion. And, uh, I, I would like to say that all the VLS work together for the benefit of our veterans. So, um, if you're in a position where, uh, VFWs representing you on a claim and they get stuck, they usually call the dab because we're certified and we can see where those claims are at in the system. And we can help them process those claims through Speaker 2 00:16:13 That's great. Um, as documents come up and they start working, uh, the military now, uh, DOD in the VA system has a lot of tremendous, uh, computer systems. When I first started my, you know, my file was in one state, I lived in another state, they were trying to move it around. It, it, you know, depending on where I came out of the military is kind of where it may have started. Nothing was connected. They weren't necessarily connected. I had to wait for snail mail for somebody to find this record and go today. That's changed quite a bit. Right. Uh, do you still, are, are you still an advocate of, of printing out and keeping a copy of personal copy or, or having your own electronic copy of all your medical records? Speaker 4 00:16:55 I do personally believe that that's the way to go. I think when you leave a medical provider's office, if the VA sent me there, um, and it's not the VA, you wanna make sure you get a copy of those records. Yeah. Um, carry those records back to the VA. So they have those, uh, episodes of care, uh, file in your electronic health record at the VA. And that's all very important to your claims process and yeah, Speaker 2 00:17:15 Yeah. Another important term off of those episodes of care. So those are sometimes the VA, once you get into that system, they're gonna send you to see a series of people, to me, a series of tests, that's when you're gonna really use and lean on those words and, and the understanding of how to explain your experience and succinctly, uh, to a, to a doctor or to a practitioner of some kind that's talking to you, but you have some stuff that may exist from an outside doctor. You might not have thought of your eye doctor that sits over here, your primary care physician over here, and those episodes of care, those times there, those records are still valid and to have a role to play in the process. Speaker 4 00:17:51 Right. Most definitely. Okay. Yeah. Any kind of healthcare situation, any records that you have that could possibly pertain to your service connected disability, you wanna make sure you get those records and submit them to your claim? Speaker 2 00:18:03 Yeah. I, I can think, I mean, top of them things you're, uh, hearing, especially in my generation with earplugs, that they've had difficult time, you know, functioning properly. And, and that, uh, the last thing I I'll kind of hang off of this is there are a lot of organizations that will charge you to walk through the process of getting a duty two 14, or working through those things. Uh, what is, what does DV look like? How are you funded? How do the, and, and who get, how do you get paid? And, and, uh, is the veteran, should the veteran or the family be prepared to pay something to set up a Speaker 4 00:18:35 Client? So the da AAV operates, uh, we are free. All our services are free to the veteran. Um, well assist any veteran. They don't need to be a member of our organization. Our funding comes through, uh, donations and requests and our national organization pays our national service offices across the country to service veteran claims, uh, the CSOs, which are the chapter level service officers volunteer, and everybody within the state organization, volunteers. So it's a volunteer organization. All our services are free to the veteran and you don't have to be a member of our organization to receive those Speaker 2 00:19:15 Benefits. That's great. And, and I think the top thing I, to really stress off on this is, is, is a veteran is starting or presumptive or, or potential veteran is starting. And, and you're seeing that a conversation needs to happen. Uh, what are the best ways to, to make the veteran to veteran conversation happen with D E how do they get ahold of somebody here in Arizona? Speaker 4 00:19:37 So the best way to, uh, get in touch with a dab chapter service officer, which would be the first level of communication would be to, uh, go to dab.org. Okay. That's our national site. And you can find the, um, state or location that you're in, and it'll give you a listing of all the chapters in your area. And, uh, you can just call a local chapter and talk to a service officer, great. Make an appointment, go over there and talk to them about your military experiences and what you're experiencing now, and see if you can file a claim. Speaker 2 00:20:07 Yeah. And that veteran to veteran, conversation's probably one of the most critical ones, but you guys talk about family member and just trying to get their bearings. Speaker 4 00:20:15 Yeah. I get calls from family members all the time. Yes. Um, why is it dunno what to do because their husband doesn't use the VA and they don't know what kind of services are available to them. Yeah. Um, I'm happy to help anyone that calls. Um, we also provide assistance to veterans who, um, are in a crisis situation. They can't pay their rent or their electricity's been shut off, or they need a ride home from Oklahoma. You know, we'll do whatever we can to take care of those veterans. Speaker 2 00:20:41 I love it. I love it. Well, and, and talking about Leany in, uh, during the time of your parent project, uh, this is what DV can do when a veteran's flag is something we, we look forward to and building in too, with our, our season moves, passing with that new application tool. We just wanna take a second here to, and unveil and remind everybody what's coming down at my peers. So we'll take a quick little break and let everybody, Speaker 2 00:21:31 And welcome back, uh, here again with Tom McCoy, uh, Arizona commander, uh, for, uh, disabled American veterans, uh, Tom, the, as you're going through this process, um, uh, there's a stigma that we kind of work through and getting off. You mentioned the two biggest ones that, that I've experienced in life and then felt, uh, and, and heard from others. Um, one being, I don't belong here. This is for people who are much, you know, worse off than I am, or two, just that fear of things, particularly, uh, PTSD or mental stress, uh, and the impacts of, uh, of war, um, or military service, even in the stress of what it takes to do that. Um, what, uh, talking the stigma of PTSD, how does that, how, how are you guys seeing that at D how do you tackle that when it's coming in the door, you sense that somebody's afraid of one of those two objections? Speaker 4 00:22:24 I think the biggest stigma is what the veteran views of himself. He has to get past the thought that, um, he's flawed that he's weak or that he, he, you know, doesn't, um, I don't know how to say it. Um, doesn't stand up or, you know, he doesn't qualify. Um, PTSD is a very difficult, uh, thing to treat. Um, there's other mental health conditions that come with that, um, the anxiety and the stress and the anger and the loss of sleep and the nightmares and all those kinds of things. A lot of families don't know how to deal with that. Yeah. They don't know what's going on when that guy comes back from overseas and he's different, you know, and he doesn't want to talk about it. Yeah. So the best way for us to deal with that is to get in touch with a veteran. What's another veteran, because they've been there, they know what that guy's going through, and they can discuss the situation and get him help. Speaker 2 00:23:17 Yeah. We we've had these discussions, the military, you know, and one of my first commands is a basic training company. And so com compartmentalization is used from day one as they come in in order to get 'em focused and you really need it for anything from will to survive, to how to reconsolidate and re plan. Um, after things go haywire and resetting up there, there are important concepts for reward. Uh, that said we don't do decom compartmentalization at all, or it's not, it's not something that handles on that front side and they can have that. This is something that, that can unpack here. Do you see, um, blindside kind of a question, but the answer maybe, you know, or you don't know, but, uh, women, veterans, do they have a different experience on the PTSD is, or than men do, or any of these kind of pushbacks, is there anything there be aware of if your veteran is, uh, mother or your grandmother? Speaker 4 00:24:11 Yeah. Um, we have a lot of women veterans in organization, um, and a lot of women veterans have suffered, uh, um, mental health issues in different ways than men have. Yeah. Uh, unfortunately there's a lot of MST, military or sexual trauma. Yeah. And, and, uh, so that's very difficult to deal with, especially for a man to deal with that with a woman. So the VA has a women's health clinic. Um, they're very, um, well suited for dealing with women's crisis and women's, uh, mental health issue use as well as their, uh, body, their whole health. Speaker 2 00:24:47 That's great. And if any of that veteran comes up and you guys are sensing that, and the family gives that call, and then you sense that you can make the connection, you bet to get them into that as they get going that's oh, yeah, that's great. And we see that, especially here at manna house, uh, that's a part of the, um, you know, this is a, a men's community and we definitely saw the need for the, the women, especially homeless veteran women. Yeah. Uh, that continue to fall back into that cycle. And they see that sexual trauma back out on the street, the difficulties there, and it just needs to be handled differently. Speaker 4 00:25:16 Yeah. And it just exasperates the, the, um, the individual's mental health issues, because once they start to, um, experience multiple traumas, it's hardly treated. Yeah. And so you talk about compartmentalizing, um, it depends on what's in those compartments, you know, they have to break that down and open that up so that they can begin to treat that. Yeah. And it's very difficult. Speaker 2 00:25:41 Well, it's something to really empathetically attack, you know, your family member, who's moving through that a reason why you really wanna have a professional organization that's helping you, uh, step outside. And, and that outside perspective, um, especially a shared combat perspective or shared military perspective, right. Experience sometimes that's the icebreaker that will let them down the road, open something else Speaker 4 00:26:04 Up. Yeah. It's a lot easier. Like I said, for a veteran to talk to another veteran, it is for him to explain that to his wife. Yeah. Who's very emotional about what's happening and doesn't understand why he's going through these things. Um, and when they get older and, uh, and the children have to step in and take care of them, uh, that's one, they really need help from professionals and other veteran organizations. So, um, we're here for them. Speaker 2 00:26:29 So, uh, as you start unpacking, you get into that other, uh, probably the, the other challenge that you, we really see here in the, in the VA, obviously the Phoenix VA a couple of years ago really made a lot of headlines and difficulties of serving for stuff. And they, they made some monumental responses, uh, to that. Um, but we have some real challenges. There are a lot of, uh, I don't, I'm not even sure how many veterans, you know, how many veterans we have in our, in our state, across the board or what the VA system's trying to, uh, encounter or, um, counter. So ultimately that's what we're trying to get. Speaker 4 00:27:04 I know that the Phoenix VA has a hundred thousand patients and the two side, VA's almost all that Speaker 2 00:27:09 Man a lot. And so, so if you, yeah, you think through that in healthcare, the pressures, most COVID of healthcare in general, short staffing, where those things sit, uh, I'll tell you my primary, the VA is my primary healthcare system and my primary care provider. Um, I have a naturopathic doctor that private pay worked with. Um, and then I've got a VA doc who is, she's talked, she's phenomenal, a phenomenal, phenomenal doctor that walks me into those things, but she's an amazing caseload. Yeah. So again, um, that documentation being able to speak clearly, these are things that also become just difficult as people age in general, we see this outside of the VA, uh, you know, my, when a doctor's office is coming in and it got four and a half minutes to hit patient to patient, to patient, and, you know, your family members, they get older, they're used, they, they, they remember that time where they talked about their kids and they, they talked about some other stuff prior to coming into that. Right. That's, uh, that's a hard transition. That could be something that of a problem, just that you may, you may, you may run into as you're working through. What are, um, any ideas, if, if, if, if they're struggling or they're getting frustrated or they're getting down about how hard that is, what should they keep in mind? Um, if they run into a problem while working through the VA system and you guys are helping through, Speaker 4 00:28:33 So the, the veteran's health administration, um, we can provide transportation for those veterans to get to their appointments. Um, the VA also offers, uh, telehealth options. Mm-hmm, <affirmative> where they can do video conferencing from home. Um, a lot of cases, veterans are unable to, to handle those kind of technologies and a family member is there to help them. Uh, another option is, um, um, making all your appointments. You wanna make sure that you get to your appointments. Yeah. And you get to them on time. Yeah. Um, every time you miss an appointment, you no show an appointment that it leaves a slot open that somebody could have used and they have to reschedule you for another appointment. So now you've actually taken up three slots. Um, it's very difficult for an organization to handle, uh, the number of patients that they have and, uh, you know, keep the flow going while patients are missing appoint. Speaker 2 00:29:30 You know, that is a good, we're also looking for those little ones. And that might be a great one to close on is you're looking for that practical thing to help. As they get in through that system, there are processes to solve almost every problem that comes there. There are, they might take time and you, you need to find someone there also seems to be somebody to help you, that will volunteer and help you find your work your way through that process out there. For sure. Uh, but, but making sure that they are there's, there's about make sure that they're hitting those appointments. If they've got one there it's a great place to start. You communicate what you just said. It's not just one slot. You can type it to three slots just by missing an appointment. And that denies other two other veterans for the opportunity to get in when they needed to get in. That is something that I think could resonate where family member can say their mom and dad, Hey, it's that important? We know it's we don't wanna perpetuate the problem. Can I help you get back and forth? Or it might be a place that they can start chipping in and then don't expect for it all to unfold magically. Right? Um, as you work through that, give it, given it a time of process, Speaker 4 00:30:31 But if they're in a bind yeah. If they're not sure what to do, give us a call at the D and we'll be able to keep at least the correct Speaker 2 00:30:39 Answers. I love it. Help you get to where you need to be. I love it. Um, commander McCoy, I really appreciate you a lot. Thank you very much for having, being on the show today and, and helping our family members work with the parent. Thanks for helping me. Speaker 7 00:30:59 Well, that's it foot's team this week. And thanks for joining us. If you've enjoy the content, remember to subscribe and to share this episode on the app that you're using right now, your reviews and your comments, they really help us expand our reach as well as our perspectives. So if you have time also drop us a note, let us know how we're doing for tips and tools, to clarify your parent project, simplify communication with your stakeholders and verify the professionals that you choose. You can find us on YouTube, follow us on Instagram and Facebook. Thanks again for trusting us until our next episode behold, and be held. Speaker 1 00:31:31 Thank you for listening to this parent project's podcast production to access our show notes, resources or forums. Join us on your favorite social media platform, or go to parent projects.com. This show is for entertainment purposes only before making any decisions consult a professional. 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