Speaker 1 00:00:06 You're listening to parent projects.
Speaker 2 00:00:11 Hey guys, and welcome to today's show where we're gonna be live with our friend, mark, Victor Hansen, uh, known for what? Throwing down a half million ha uh, copies of chicken soup for the soul. Uh, but really lately he and his wife crystal have thrown down ask, which is gonna change everything for those of you that might be stuck in your parent project and working through those. Uh, they've got, um, a publishing company effort that's working to help anybody else. Who's got that story on their heart, bring it down to, to, uh, to pin and paper so we can pass it on one generation to the next. And we got a lot more this week. We're talking about communication, parent projects and its impact on your parent project. So stay tuned with mark Victor Hanson.
Speaker 1 00:01:13 You're listening to parent projects, a family media and technology group production. Now here's your host, Tony Sears.
Speaker 2 00:01:24 Do you know what your destiny is? Uh, have you figured that out? Do you know what you're calling, uh, where you're supposed to be your purpose in life? Uh, whether you're in a stage of asking yourself, you're asking others, you've sat down. You're asking God, uh, mark Victor Hanson, and his wife crystal have spent a significant amount of time breaking down. How to move you from point a to point B. And one of the questions we get here at parent projects is people that get stuck, uh, in the same conversation. And they're having a hard time figuring out how that plays in with their destiny or where things come about. So I got mark Victor Hansen on we're gonna get it straight from him. A man who's calling clearly is to turn the written word into something actionable that you can put into your life, calming your heart, moving you from guilt and fear into love and laughter mark, Victor. Thank you so much for joining me, brother.
Speaker 4 00:02:17 My pleasure, Tony. And it's been a delight to chat with you over the times.
Speaker 2 00:02:21 Yeah, yeah. To me it's um, <laugh>, it's, it's humbling. I, I, I think I told you earlier, there's in our conversations, there's like five or six things. That'll, that'll hit a whiteboard <laugh> out of the back side of it every time. And uh, and I made the, the joke of, uh, which will probably destroy you humility. I, I just, I, I, I would venture to say more people have something that's come out of one of your books or one of your talks on a whiteboard around their life, uh, than anybody else that I've certainly ever met in my life. So I just good on you for how you follow that calling. Uh, and I really appreciate you breaking down just what parent project has been for you. Um, that it's real. It happens and how you get through it, or some of these mechanisms you use to keep people moving. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Speaker 4 00:03:13 Well, you know, I half billion books in the chicken soup series and what let's just do one of the early parent projects, cuz you've got kids in this age group, teenage soul, we did chicken soup at the teenage soul and our publisher all knowing says I'm a parent of teenagers and I got, they got CDs, concert tickets and clothes. I got $50 and then mall eats it. They're not gonna read your dang book. So we sold 19 million the first year and what Jack and I, Dr. Camfield and I did is we said, Hey look, our book's different. This is a story that has been tested. We tested it on 12,000 kids at Nickelodeon. I even gotta take my kids, Nickelodeon. We got slimed. If that means anything to you. But the fact of the matter is we say, don't you read it to them or just give it to them, have them read one story at a time to you and what it does, it opens up your heart energy, which is what parent project is all about.
Speaker 4 00:04:02 And, and we get to relive and, and live with each other. And that's the same thing we've done with, you know, 254 books in a chicken soup series, like chicken soup of the grieving soul, cuz the funeral homes give out 250. That's the average amount of appeal that come to a funeral and we say, Hey, read it with every your kids, your grandkids, your aunts, your uncles, you know why you're having that dinner, go through it, pick one or two stories and, and open up your heart again because what happens is, oh, I've lost my husband and I, you can't lose anyone. Spirit lives forever. I hope you believe that the body is your form, but it isn't, isn't who you are. It's your, you know, the Bible says before you were in your mother's womb, I knew you
Speaker 2 00:04:44 <laugh> that's right. And, and you know, you, you touch on in that, uh, one of the first challenges is that assumption that, oh, they're not gonna make time to do that. Uh, this isn't gonna be something, a book like this. Isn't something that a teenager's gonna pick up or to work through, uh, in ask one of the major, the thing, one of the major things you highlight, uh, is that curiosity has, it's like, it's like a key to that door of change. Uh, and, and, and to move through that and children have a lot of curiosity, so our assumptions can often be wrong. What's um, what, what do you think is, is key to, to scratching curiosity in, in another family and somebody else, whether it's one of your kids, it's a sibling, it's a family member. Um, if, if they kind of sit off of that, how do you, how do you scratch that curiosity? Or how do you open yourself to seeing that happen?
Speaker 4 00:05:36 Right? What, what Jesus said is be more childlike. And what does it mean? It means open up your curiosity, cuz every little kid wants to know who, what, where, when, why, how, and, and like right now we've got six grandkids that we love and adore and five kids. But the fact of the matter is our little grandkids are just, uh, absorbing sponges cuz they're learning at, at a exponential level. And so what happens is they ask every question and like right now our, our seven year old little granddaughter twin, one of our grand twins, Maddie comes up and she says, give me the hardest word you can Grampy to spell. And so I thought, well, Mississippi would be hard. Well she whisked through it. Why? Because we've always been open to letting all that happen. And, and as a grandfather, she knows that whether she spell it right or wrong, I'm gonna love her no matter what, but she's cur infinitely curious and we've taken her everywhere.
Speaker 4 00:06:23 We, they have at least one sweep over a month here at our house with us and they can ask anything they want, we can do all the stuff they want and they have infinite mind power. What happens is the school system and parents say, you ask too many questions. Would you just quit? I don't know why, you know, or whatever. Yeah. Find somebody that does know why or find somewhere to find the answer for 'em and let them to keep growing exponentially because we're at the first no limit time in human history for potential godlike awareness where you go vertical. And also let me just add one more thing. My wife and I start every day with an hour of prayer and meditation where we, we call it going vertical. And, and what happens is that everybody needs to do that. It seems to me and then really communicate afterwards, but we do it with the grandkids and you can't believe the revelations. They have, everyone has got infinite intelligence cuz we're made in the image of the lightness of the creator or the maker.
Speaker 2 00:07:16 Yeah. Well and you and I were talking earlier that, so on my experience with my own children, in that we were, we were talking through, uh, the book of Exodus in the store with Moses and following his, what he believed his destiny was versus being able to listen and check that against what God's destiny for him was and how he plays into those things. And, and, and not just my kids were thirsty off of that. They were thirsty. Cuz they're trying to figure stuff out. <laugh> trying to understand where things connect you. It also got me thinking a lot of how, even as we get older, you you've gotta reconnect. You gotta understand where people, um, are, are coming from. Uh, you know, in, we're gonna take a break here in a second. Um, and, and we're gonna have our, our first sponsor here with, with, um, with the refuge coffee company.
Speaker 2 00:08:07 But when we come back, you have come up with, uh, with something that use and ask and a way to, to a common experience that family members can share. And some questions that can work through together that will, that will help them find what the curiosity of the other person is, or maybe get over and change a dynamic. And I'd like to cover that when they come back, Hey guys, uh, this is Tony at the parent projects podcast. And if you are powered by coffee, the way that I'm powered by coffee, I think you'll appreciate knowing a way that you can help the last lost and least of us that didn't have a great transition. You see the refuge coffee company is a social enterprise operated by Catholic charities of central and Northern Arizona, where they use this coffee and this business model to help homeless veterans at the mana house, transitional community, get back on their feet, help a veteran, turn a handout into a hand up by giving them the opportunity to earn your business purchase coffee today at the refuge, az.com. That's the refuge az.com. If you order six or more bags, shipping will be free. And if you tell 'em that parent projects sent you, I'm gonna send you a travel coffee mug. Thank you again. And let's get back to the show.
Speaker 4 00:09:24 So we're gonna talk about, you know, what we discovered in our book I ask is that, you know, you got, there are three channels to asking, ask yourself, ask others, ask God. And, and all of them work. All of 'em work better together. And most people have never done one of them, much less, three of 'em. And what we're doing with these tons of letters and emails and voicemails is that we're getting is, we're saying, oh my God, they're opening up their mind power, right? Because if you're made the image like this and the infinite and the infinite infinite, then you've got infinite potential ability. We're born over endowed yet. What the system does is we're going into recession. We're going into depression. You're supposed to shut down, slow down, get old. Now there's nowhere. The Bible Genesis 63 says you're supposed to live 120. And I told you earlier, my goal is to live 127 options for renewal. If I keep having at 74 years young, I've got this high quality of life. I wanna high quantity of life. Why would you wanna die? It's like the kid came up to my teacher, Cabo, Robert 89 said, gosh, why would anyone wanna live to 89? He said, boy, you're not 88. <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:10:24 <laugh> well, you know you Utah, I know you, you also have five kiddos and we, uh, I, it, as you work through those issues, I remember listening to the story of a, of an older, uh, client I'd had doing a senior move and working through their project and, and helping the parents with their project there, they're explaining to me just how little they, their kids knew them, their kids, by the way, who we communicate with, they thought they really had all figured out. They, they thought they knew exactly what their parents were up to and his dad responded and he was close to 90 years old. Uh, he said, you know, honestly, they, um, they knew the best version of myself when their first 18 years of life, I showed them what I wanted them to see so that they'd stand on my shoulders and they'd live a better life than I live and made better decisions than me.
Speaker 2 00:11:11 They've been gone for 40 years and I've been doing me I've in, in his words, he's been, he's been doing his own version of his life. And he gotten married and his wife developed patterns and things they do, and their kids weren't attached to all of that. And taking time when everybody slowed down to take time to, without pressure of what has to be done, but genuinely just to understand and check into the other person, it reminded me just how social of beings we are and how, um, how those opportunities to, to give that time and check into somebody else would be that important. Um, I'm gonna slow this down for a second here. And, uh, and let's, let's, let's give an option. There's a, a couple of, of people that get left behind and, uh, those that get left behind here in the Phoenix area, we, we love lifting them up and getting some work to understand their stories too. Uh, mark Victor, you've got, you've got a, like a, a quick, uh, a quick read book that can help people as they gather these stories, get their stories down. Is that right? We did
Speaker 4 00:12:14 A, we did a series called speed. Write your life story, your autobiography, because wouldn't it be nice if you start for generations, future your life story. And wouldn't you like to know grandma and great grandma and great, great grandma way back. But when you do this, it also says invites you to have your kids and your grandkids and your SS and your cousins and nephews and nieces also to write their story and what it does. I I've just had my biography done by Mitzi Purdue. And she did a hun interviewed 147 people, all my relatives and everything. It's sort of a mindblower to know what you got done in your own lifetime, because I've, you know, I've been exceedingly successful after going bankrupt in 1974. So I don't want anyone to think. I haven't had my own thes. The pulsation of life is, is a necessary thing for each and every one of us.
Speaker 2 00:13:00 Yeah. Yeah. The, the, um, okay, so that, that seems like something, there must be 10 to 20 titles I've seen or books where people can open up and write, write a page at a time or work something through at a time, which the usability I look on the backside becomes difficult, but clearly understanding our history is just written someplace in our DNA someplace in our, in our heart to understand where we come from, the, uh, you know, I don't get the plugs off of 'em, but the, the, the DNA searching organizations out there that will come back, I, I gotta think what we're gonna be able with technology to do and integrate those types of things. Once we get privacy under our belt, and those types of concerns could be incredible. But so thi this is a book that, uh, that could help you start documenting that family history again, that, um, that could be needed for what grandkids, great grandkids, or just maybe even working the current project in front of you. Huh?
Speaker 4 00:13:59 Well, what you said at the beginning was, you know, the Bible is a book, but then there's words in it. Number two, number three is there's, uh, read the story superficially. And then number four, there's the abstraction where you get to use the book to make it meaningful to you. And, and what you said about Genesis. I wanted to comment and just say it is a universal story to know Moses, but the, the going to the back part of the book, it, it says there's a book of life. Well, you and I are supposed to transcribe that book of life and then Hubba cook. It says, write a thing, make it clear. It'll be established on you. And you're supposed to write, where are you today? So we got a diary, where were you? Your history or biography, and then you've gotta write your future.
Speaker 4 00:14:38 What are you gonna do in the next 25 years? Which is what we're writing in our book ask, because we said, look, yeah. And, and you asked me to do this. So let me just repeat that and say, everyone needs to get two of these and go over it with your parents a 178 questions and write out the answers, talk out the answers, dictate out the answers, transcribe 'em in your smart device, whatever you do, because all that stuff needs to be recorded. And, and yes, privacy is critical, but it's also critical that you capture the story because wouldn't, you like to know all the stories of, of what cuz you were a military guy. And I thank you and, and salute you for doing that. But wouldn't you like to know everybody in the family that was in the military backwards through your DNA and RNA and I guarantee you, there were probably a lot.
Speaker 2 00:15:22 Yeah. You know, the DNA can, can let you know the line in which you come the context of what that DNA meant when it was on the earth. Five generations ago to four to three to my generation, uh, that is the ha that's gonna have to survive and written word. As far as I know we we'll use, we use, you know, podcasts like this in podcasts, but the truth be told the majority of this, even a CD rom it goes away. It, it, it, it, it not melts, but the data comes off of it. It doesn't last forever. Uh, and those books I see pass from one to the next, that seems to be a great way to also genuinely check in and, and to not just be a talking point or walking through something or to be there just to, to have to solve a problem. But to spend that time understanding before parent project goes into place, what their, why is what's driving them? What is it that they're living for instead of waiting to die? And I think that this is a phenomenal opportunity and a great, just practical guidance and path that they could take for that.
Speaker 4 00:16:29 Well, this morning, crystal had reading all the stuff about where, where Jesus, you know, so for he's ready to go cross and says, forgive for, they don't know what they do. The, the point is I never understood that. Totally. That you gotta forgive everybody. If you wanna be healthy, if you wanna be whole. And so we went into deep prayer and meditation. What happens is I could literally see my ORIC energy grow is I forgave some people that as far as I'm concerned, forgive me. I know I'm, I'm judging me, not judging all that, but I was not forgiving to some people that I thought were Schmo to me. How's that that's a nice, clean way to say it. But boy, they were really bad. And, and, and it went through, you know, as we thought about it, well, Jesus got betrayed. He got beat up.
Speaker 4 00:17:07 He got, you know, crucified, he got hung and across in a very painful way, I've seen the shroud of live. You know, he was six foot four. He was 170 pounds. He literally his ORIC energy burnt into the, the, um, ORIC thing because Jews wrapped from the bottom of their feet up over the top, their head, and then back down their feet, not the way Arabs do Arabs go this way. And I, you know, I saw it with Mary Kay, Mary Kay cosmetics got some private, uh, visitation when it was touring America. And I went, oh my, that guy's tall. And he really I'm six, four. So 40 weighed
Speaker 2 00:17:45 Skinnys into, well, even to that like physical form. So you take taking something that is an idea and having that opportunity or word or a thought process, having that opportunity to make it something we touch feel hold to make it real, uh, getting through a story in a book. And what you're calling happens to be, I think is a, is a great way to do just the same. It takes an idea conversation, a story passed, which is how, you know, we started for years and turns it into something that can be held that other tactile portion, I think is a big piece of that.
Speaker 4 00:18:18 And by the way, the point is, each of our story is everybody else's story where all the story of every man, because there at some level, what did Jesus say? The father and I are won. So if you are one, you've gotta figure out how to take care of yourself. You gotta, first of all, do good self parenting, self leadership. Then you gotta do parenting parenting. Then you gotta do kid parenting, grandparenting, you know, all that stuff. So it is, it is a full cycle and most of us are saying, Nope, I'm just gonna take care of myself and be self. No, no self less is the goal. Take care of yourself. So it can be selfless and take care of the whole system. And each of us has potentially the ability to do that. If we haven't been squished outta curiosity, like what you asked about before, if this school system says I'm gonna be the teacher and you're the little student Tony quit asking S dang, many questions, just learn what I'm teaching and you'll get through this class. No, that's not right way wait, goes.
Speaker 2 00:19:10 Right. Right. And that, what it encourages is for me just to hear what you came through and regurgitate that without actually even coming to heart. And, you know, we, you, you know, we've had the discussion on just the difficulty of, of government in general, trying to spread itself to handle the masses or, or, you know, I understand an education from that. You've gotta, you've got a lot of people to run through that system. And so they try to get to the point and to work from that. I remember years learning about thinking things differently, which the military had taught me. It really flipped it it's on its head. I think it's a reason emergency management, um, that, that worked so well for me and my calling and helping people and fine tuning that, which was, uh, not looking at convergent, but understanding divergent thought process.
Speaker 2 00:19:58 And you know, that that might remind an another thing. We're all built differently. We all think we all approach problems differently. So to try to jump into the middle of the problem and expect to get through the answer in one direct call, without having the opportunity to stand back and reflect that, like that, to understand how this person approaches a problem and how this person approaches a problem. And that might be different than the way that I approach a problem, which means the same piece of information can look like truth to one person and fake news to another person. It could look like, um, you know, it, it can put things into conflict when really what it is. It, it may or may not be, it may be false, but it, it may just be the context with which people get to see that in the life that they've had before them. And what's, you know, what's behind them. That's probably way over pontificating. I'm above my pay grade, especially talking to you, but you just pull it outta me, brother, look at you, go, <laugh>
Speaker 4 00:20:59 The least I could do. No. What you're saying is about perception, which only Yuma beings have perception. And, and if you change your perception, you change your life. And, and we have a story about two fourth graders that are fighting and the teacher says, Johnny, you go over there, Sammy, you go over there. And she pulls a ball out and puts on. Santa says, what color is she? It black, what color? White, black, white, black, white said, are you stupid? You can't see what color. And she hasn't changed sides and it's half black and half white. So it, it does change. What you said is what, where's your perception. And the second part to that from a spiritual point of view from a parenting project is if you are willing to go into the secret place of the most high and ask yourself, God, what is the Omni considered all considered solution here?
Speaker 4 00:21:42 So, so I really can be a good parent and apparent leader and level that I haven't been maybe. Right. Cause what happened is you do what your parents did and that may not have been the most, um, wise thing to do. I'm not saying your parents weren't good, but by and large, most people are parents by accident. They get somebody pregnant, they suddenly have a kid, and then they got a bunch of kids and they didn't ever think through, well, what would it be like to be the optimal, the ideal, the magnificent, the maximizing parent that maximizes themselves, maximizes his spouse and maximizes all future generations. Now that is a different kind of thought form.
Speaker 2 00:22:18 It's a deliberate thought form. You're again and not to over press that, because this, this, we didn't jump on here just to push books, but generally to have some conversation, these tools that can help a family member break up where they're stuck, uh, like a ask the, the idea of going through that, reading it, going through the questions and that I think it is a deliberate act and trying to solve some of those problems, communication problems, understanding problems, perspective, problems, those things you mind, I, I am gonna throw this in and I know you didn't bring it to us. And we threw it off of that, but we are gonna put a plugin I'd really like to share just with the audience book about one and a half, two minute video here on your book, ask,
Speaker 4 00:22:59 Thank you,
Speaker 5 00:23:00 Everyone is born with a destiny. You have one too. It's up to you to discover it. And you can do that. How ask, ask, ask, discovering your destiny gives you the power to change the world. Building today, transforming the future, making the impact. It's time. You awaken your deep dreams. Dreams that often remain unfulfilled. Stop being overwhelmed. Don't let your fears keep you from unraveling. The secret of conquering the world. You're here for a reason. Get ready for life's magical mystical journey. By stepping on the shining sparkling bridge that will lead you to your destiny. This bridge took the greatest achievers of all, all time to the answer of the unsolved mystery. They learned how to ask what to ask and changed everything. And once they learned to cross the bridge, they never stopped ask, ask, ask. So how do you go from downtrodden to triumphant from rags to riches? How do you start over to begin again? Order ask the bridge from your dreams to your destiny on amazon.com today and start crossing the bridge from your dreams to your destiny, the best guide ever to asking, get yours today and start moving toward your destiny written by bestselling author of chicken soup for the soul mark, Victor Hanson and crystal Dwyer, Hanson
Speaker 2 00:24:36 Imagination, curiosity ask. So, um, you are, uh, ask the book club.com. Is that right?
Speaker 4 00:24:46 Say, look out of the Bible. It says, ask, ask, seek, and knock. And then if you AK you'll G E T what you want. So my wife made it into an acronym, get every treasure, get every treasure because all the treasures are there. The sky ball goes open, but you've got to ask God gave us his ability to ask, but most of us have <laugh> I've never said this, read a dev board here in, in Arizona, says, get your ask in gear. But most people, you know, cause I said earlier, we had our, our, uh, curiosity squished. I think I've never said this before. And you're opening up spaces for me, Tony. And I'm very thankful for that. You and Christine, I think we've had our asks squished. How's that grab you? Because you're told to quit asking wherever, whether it was a school or your spouse or your kid or whatever, all of us.
Speaker 4 00:25:35 Right. And you know, you ask for too much, you ask for money, you ask for car, you ask for new toothpaste, whatever it is that you ask for, you ask for a blanket all the time. Every night when it's cold, or you ask for water, conditioning is too hot, right? You should ask cuz that's the miracle power that God gave each and every one of us. And, and that's first time I've seen that video since we made it a while back. And I, I love it. Thank you for being generous enough to sharing. Cause that was very thoughtful of you all.
Speaker 2 00:26:02 Oh, where it's happy to be able to, again, actionable solutions. You've got a great gift. Uh, you and crystal clearly have put an amazing amount of time that she woman right after my own heart from the, the acronyms, it's an army thing for me. I don't know what it is. You need to get me to do something you throw in an acronym. All of a sudden I'm like,
Speaker 2 00:26:28 Think that's brilliant. I think that, um, those are great. The, uh, the ability to ask, um, when you're emotionally under duress, when, when things are difficult, you, you shared a bit of, of a parent project for you. I, you know, I I'm aware of yours. Can you share a bit of the duress that that felt with and how you moved through your, you know, your parent project when emotion sets in, when it's a, it's a family member and you're just trying to deal with the problem that's at hand as best you can in the context, you understand, um, would you, would you open up for our, our viewers and, and share a bit of that and how you get moving?
Speaker 4 00:27:10 Tony was kind enough to ask this before we came in a show, so I didn't get called blind. And it did surprise me cause I've been asked, I've been not been asked a lot of the questions he's asking. So I'm very thankful because I don't want routine dull questions. I want new questions that open up my own mental space, but my mother, God bless her, was a great woman. She loved my four brothers and I and dad, there was never any question of trust or faith or any of that stuff, loyalty, but they came through the depression. So they had a really tough goal, but suddenly she asked me when she's 42 years young and back then, you know, you start to have cha what's called change of life or menopause. There's no such thing in my experience to that time of, as an endocrinologist, hormone replacement, bio identicals, any of the stuff that today, stem cells, all the stuff, herbs and vitamins, stuff that I take, you know, 178 vitamins and, and pills a day.
Speaker 4 00:27:57 So I'm pretty, you know, and I'm, I'm really into it, but most people are not and don't know that they can keep and man then have menopause. And matter of fact, there's a big show that I'm on helping those guys. But my mother's going through that and, and to equate the pain, my position is that she drank too much and my dad couldn't handle it. My dad comes to me and says, son, what are you gonna do? And I'm now 26 or 28 and I'm a million or already. And I'm rich. But I, I, uh, I go, so I, I call around, you know, back in Waukegan, I was living in New York. Right,
Speaker 2 00:28:28 Right.
Speaker 4 00:28:30 That's that's a personal, yeah, right next to great lakes. Right. My dad made the pastry for great lakes. I said, dad, I'll handle it. He said, do you wanna tell me or not? I said, I better not tell you. So I found a place to get her to dry out. And, and she was exceedingly pro cause I was taking away what was her anesthetization, which is alcohol. I mean, alcohol has some place, but it's not a resting place. It's not a final place. It's not a ultimate place. Unless you're, you know, drinking yourself deaths like a terrible thing. Cause you get a five finger liver all day. Anyhow, she got dried out and it was well again. But, and, and some doctors there probably helped her as much as they knew, but they didn't know enough because what we said earlier is back in the time of Christ, the average age was 20 to 22 before they died.
Speaker 4 00:29:13 And so Christ at 30 to 33 was relatively an older guy, never shown with white hair and good for that. But, and Moses would've been super old. He led three lives of 40, as we talked about before the show began. But back then, there was no bioidenticals if you ate really good food, maybe you could take care of yourself. If you worked really hard, maybe you'd be healthy. But today we know a lot more. And the goal of good parenting is to take good care of yourself and then take good care of parents and get the parents take care of themselves and the grandparents and make sure we all exercise right. That we eat live fresh foods, uh, that we take our nutraceuticals, uh, that we go to our regular medical checkups that you get glasses and hearing aids, all this stuff that there was no hearing aids. When I was a kid, you'd always see everyone. Like my teacher, Bucky fuller always would go like this. And he was an Admiral, the Navy, as you know, so, uh, world war, I of course, but the, the point is that this stuff didn't exist. Now. It exists. We need to use the things that exist and, and Makely better off
Speaker 2 00:30:15 The, um, whether it be an outside tool of a, of a rehab group, um, in, in that immediate problem that sat against those things, uh, being able to stand back. Can you remember the first, can you remember the first time you came to understanding of having to deal with a problem like that with your parents? Do you, can you are with, with your mom and your dad reaching out for you and asking for some level of helped by any chance?
Speaker 4 00:30:43 Yeah, it wasn't mom. The one to help. Dad just didn't want her to drink herself to death. He loved her and, and you know, he had a very limited education. I'm not Bering him, but it just wasn't when he came out Denmark, he had no English skills. He had no say skills. He had no education and, and you know, so he came here and he was hoping that his sons would get a better education and pay for it themselves, cuz he just didn't have it. And so, um, he thought, well, Marky is here. That's what he would call me. Uh, can you figure this out and solve it for us? Cause he didn't know there were dry out centers. I mean it did, you know, detox centers. He didn't know that stuff existed and I didn't really either, but you know, suddenly you got a problem you're supposed to face it.
Speaker 4 00:31:24 And, and if you have a problem, you now I'm gonna go way abstract here for a second. But a pro you gotta say the problem is good. I mean, if you read Joseph made colored code, what you meant for my harm, God meant for my good and not only for my temporary good, but for my long term. Good. Because you say, well, why would you share a story about your mother alcoholism? Well, look, 18 million Americans are alcoholics. This isn't even a, maybe in my mind and, and we can go GA, we can go SA we can go AA. There, there are a lot of A's right? And brothers, a bill and all this stuff. Cause I talk at all the giant megachurches and they've all got that. And I, and I talk to all of them and, and because every one of them that is in that at some level lacked one thing, which is hope, which is what the good spell, the God spell is all about the Catholic church. And everybody is trying to cast out the Jesus, the God spell to give that person hope. And, and most churches have really good. What are called 12 step programs that are really wonderful. Now question, question, <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:32:24 Not, not at all. Look that that brought it. Whether that, that, that brings it to reality. And that is you didn't have to solve or boil the whole ocean of everything. When the problems got on, you were able to focus it. One, you were able to explore what solutions might be to it, but you augmented and you helped your parents solve that. But you came through your dad when your dad had asked for that and you became a resource and a tool, which is an important way to win favor. You're clearly somebody I know from our conversations who genuinely checks in with that person. I try to practice presence in my life. And you're somebody who does really, really well at it. And, and I really, I, I enjoy that about you and spending time around you. So those are, those are things. Those are things that we can begin to build.
Speaker 2 00:33:11 Maybe the rapport. So maybe, maybe your parent, your dad, or your mom is not gonna sit down and start reading, ask with you to answer 178 questions. But maybe if you start through that, you begin with the first five or 10 questions and you ask them the questions, not waiting for what you're going to say next. But to try to understand why they're saying what they're saying and the follow up questions against those, until that sets in enough curiosity, that leads you to say, Hey, this is where I got it outta here. And we start off of this and you start developing that relationship. Not all of us have time for that. A lot of people with parent projects, they don't have time for that. They are literally in the fight of their life at this moment. But if you do have a parent project that's down the road and a hundred percent of us are gonna die. <laugh> like, that's just, it's a given thing. We are blessed. If we have children, our friends or family that will be here to help us do that, spending that time into using a tool like that. Um, I think makes it really real so
Speaker 4 00:34:15 That we've had so many people tell us, man, I read that first story, cuz I will only do books that are unique, transformational and inevitable, right? Meaning that they're gonna be long. Tail will last forever. So transformational so many people tell us, man, I read that first story, cuz we start with a fable of McKayla. We start with the fable, no book. We don't have an American favorist remember I'm Danish. The top favorist world is Hank. Chris Anderson. You know, every one of us, 47 fables, you know the ugly duckling. You know, then I can't name one that Disney hasn't made a movie outta cause Wal and my, I wrote a book with art Ling, went to Disney to his home together and brought all those books back and made him in movies. And God bless that. But the point is I have so many people tell us, oh my God, I read that fable of maquila and they went, they shook my wife awake and say, you gotta read this.
Speaker 4 00:35:03 It'll take you 15 minutes. Read it to you, honey. Or wake up their 15 year old kid. And then the other side of it is that we've done so many wonderful podcasts. One with a giant named ed. My who's got muscles on muscles and superstar, lot levels. But ed my said, man, you sent me the book and I couldn't find a book. So I went to my little 17 year old daughter and I said, you know, this book was sent to me and it was signed by mark and crystal. Do you know where that book is? Dead. I read it. I couldn't stop reading that. I didn't know you were gonna show.
Speaker 4 00:35:31 So everybody is time compressed. I'm not quite me too. You too. My wife too. Yeah. The point is when you start reading a story, we, we do everything we know in our heart and soul to write irresistibly compelling reading stories. So you go, I, I need to know what happens. I need to know how I can make my life better because we believe every one of us was coded at destiny of birth with a, with a great destiny. And, and it's not, I got a job. No, no that's nice. That's what you did, but that isn't who you and what you're supposed to become. You're a human becoming
Speaker 2 00:36:10 The ability to feed your family, to tie back that in, uh, to feed your family with presence, with curiosity, uh, with small actionable things with the time and attention, just to understand where they're at, why they're there, um, is I, I think gonna be critical. I mark VI Victor, I, I think you're gonna help a lot of people today. Thank you. Uh, that have been stuck. Um, some the opportunity and thanks to God for this platform for
Speaker 4 00:36:46 My pleasure. I love doing this
Speaker 6 00:36:53 Well, that's it team this week. And thanks for joining us. If you enjoy the content, remember to subscribe and to share this episode on the app that you're using right now, your reviews and your comments, they really help us expand our reach as well as our perspectives. So if you have time also drop us a note, let us know how we're doing for tips and tools, to clarify your parent project, simplify communication with your stakeholders and verify the professionals that you choose. You can find us on YouTube, follow us on Instagram and Facebook. Thanks again for trusting us until our next episode behold and be held.
Speaker 1 00:37:26 Thank you for listening to this parent projects, podcast production to access our show notes, resources or forums. Join us on your favorite social media platform or go to parent projects.com. This show is for entertainment purposes only before making any decisions consult a professional. This show is copyrighted by family media and technology group incorporated, and parent projects LLC written permissions must be granted before syndication or rebroadcast.